Online Dating - Yep I am trying it

so the best message I have received so far to date is....

"do whips and chains excite you cause i have a ball gag with your name all over it"

I think I will pass.

But as instructed I am putting myself out there.

The Boys are Back in Town

The boys are back in town, well really the girls too and actually they are not back in town, they are just coming to town. But HELLO college reunion weekend, only it is taking place here instead of there. Anyway, not only was my birthday this week but trouble, mayhem and mischief are coming to town! The statement " I am so excited" just doesn't cover it.  


I have no idea what might happen but my some of my favorite people in the whole word are coming here this weekend! I know there will be drinking, and of course dancing. Then there is the newest edition of our insanity...late night guitar playing and awful singing by request. Oh if you could be a fly on the wall...you would probably wish you were def or at least had a good pair of ear plugs. God bless my neighbors, they have no idea what they are in for. 


The cast of characters for the weekend include..
Bootylicious- the BFF. enough. said. 
Apple Butter- husband to Bootylicious . he and I have some of the funniest drinking stores between us...clearly one involves apple butter but maybe I will tell you about that later. Have I mentioned that he is probably the hottest man I know. 
Fashion Master- always dressed to impress but by far the best teacher a kid could have, she also has the purest heart on the planet.  
Big Blond- husband to KMay and by far one of the best men I know. He is also the guitar master for our events this weekend. 
KMay- wife of Big Blond, who gets a little crazy and tells it how it is no matter what, got to appreciate the honestly people. 


I am sure you have realized by now that yes, most of my friends are married, but they are great married people because they didn't change when they got married and they still love hanging out with us single people :) 


Also there will be a brief appearance by Dooker, MiniDooker and HotMama. Mini Dooker is only 4 weeks old so they can only do a day trip and will not be partaking in the shall we say alcohol induced events. Did I mention HotMama looks like Megan Fox only not so emaciated.  


more details to come later...when I am finally sober again.  


If my life were a song today it would be: Working for the weekend.


Cause hey..a little romance wouldn't be that bad...

A Simple Truth

“All I know is the choices you make dictate the life you lead. "To thine own self be true."”


I realized that I had spent the last 4+ years of my life waiting for a man to decide if he wanted to be with me or not. Do you have any idea what that does to a person? I kept telling myself that I was waiting for my life with him to start. Waiting. Why couldn't it start right then? Why did it take me so long to realize the simple truth--The lack of an answer is an answer. 


It is amazing when you realize that you are tired of letting life pass you by for another person. It is even more infuriating when you realize that that is what you have been doing. For years you have been prioritizing their needs over your own. Don't get me wrong I am a believer that love is about compromise but there is a difference. A big difference.  It is heartbreaking when you realize that you have completely lost yourself in the process. You are no longer a strong, confident, fearless woman, but a timid, broken shell ready to crack at any moment. 


It took me a long time to stand up, it is going to take me even longer to express my anger but I have seen the light and awoken from a dark nightmare. The farther I get away from him the better I feel. But the truth is, I falter, we falter. It is comfortable, we know each other so well. Yet after we are together, I feel the cracks starting to show again. He hasn't changed and I have stopped expecting him to. 


5 whole days without any contact. 


If my life were a song today it would be: I don't want to cry by Mariah Carey.  

Happy Birthday to Me

Today is my twenty sixth birthday, it also happens to be the day I decided to start my life over.


I am tired of being told I am the oldest 26 year old on the planet, I am tired of not pushing myself to make the changes that I know I must and I am tired of feeling like the shell of the woman I know I can become.


So tonight, I am going out for my birthday. It is the first time since my 21st birthday that I have been single, and this is the best birthday I have had since my 21st.


Here is to you life, watch out...cause I am not holding back anymore. (nor will I be getting in my own way)


Today, if my life were a song it would be: The Happy Birthday Song, particularly because it is my Golden Birthday.